Blowing Rocks…a Beautiful Escape

Florida is such a weird state. There are weird people, weird laws and it’s just an all around whacky place. I mean, it’s home to Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman, so, ya know. Anyway, with all of the bizarre crap that Florida has to offer, there are some drop-dead gorgeous sites.

Tucked away inside of Jupiter, Florida lies a little slice of heaven called Blowing Rocks Preserve. It is amazing. First, before you even get to the magic, you’re surrounded by big, beautiful mansions and palm trees. My eyes were big as I gazed out the window looking at the driveways that were about a block long. Sigh. One day. Then you walk into this nature-ry, rain forest-sy type area. There are trees and leaves everywhere. I’m not a “nature girl” by any means, but I liked it. Minus the spiders. Oh, those spiders. They were as huge as Peter Parker himself. Anyway, as you walk, there’s this canister with a sign saying that it was $2 to enter. There are no employees around. All they want is for you to be a stand-up citizen and drop your dollars into the canister, which I thought was cool. Yes, we were stand-up citizens just in case you were wondering haha. Then, it happened. I fell in love when I saw this.

It was really jaw-dropping. Looks like we were somewhere out of the country. Nope. We were just in lil ol Florida. The scenery was amazing. I’ve never seen water as dope as this at any of the beaches here. Another good thing, there were not many people there. That sand though, oh man it was hot! I tried to take off my sandals and walk, but it felt like I was walking on the flames from hell.
The hot sand was a small thing to a giant. I couldn’t wait to hop into that perfectly-blue water. You couldn’t just hop in though. You had to maneuver through the rocks. They were everywhere and boy were they sharp! There were times when I tried to sit on the edge of the rocks and look cute. Nope. Those waves came, knocked me right on back to reality. I mean, those waves and those rocks were disrespectful. I really get why they call it Blowing Rocks. I scrapped my leg on one of the rocks. So, I am now walking around with bandages on like a child.
I didn’t let that stop me though. Naturally, I got right in, swam around and it was lovely. The water was the perfect temperature, but it was really salty. I mean, Lawry’s had nothing on this water. Still, I was in awe. It was just so pretty. I brought my snorkel and mask so I got to snorkel and see some dope underwater life. It was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I’m a girl from Detroit. We don’t have beaches. You can’t just go snorkeling whenever you want. We don’t have sites as beautiful as this one. As I was under water, and as I was treading water, I just looked around and soaked it all in. What a great God we have. His work is like no other. Blowing Rocks was truly a beautiful escape. Whatever problems you have, take a trip there, it’ll make you forget about all of your woes for the moment. While there with my friends, I just reflected on how blessed I am. Everything may not be perfect or exactly how I would like them to be, but they are exactly how God wants them to be at this very moment.

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A New Feel…

The thought of starting over is exhausting. Just thinking about how much effort and time it takes to get to know someone new makes my head hurt. I was talking to one of my homegirls the other day and we both were saying how difficult it is to find the strength to date. As a full time working woman, time doesn’t just grow on trees. It’s very precious and the thought of wasting any of it is just unbearable. We talked for a while about all of the cons of dating, but never the pros. Sure, it takes a lot of hard work, but so does everything else in our lives. It wasn’t until now that I realized that maybe we as women or people in general, put off dating due to other factors.

One of them: fear. It’s not that we don’t have the time, it’s that we’re afraid future bae will be just like old bae. We’ve invested months and even years into a person before and it ended in less than a ring. So, now, that sets the tone for your future dating endeavors. There’s a fear of heartbreak.

Also, the thorough contentment of being with yourself. You’ve been single for so long that it feels weird to even think about anybody else. Trust me, I get it. I haven’t had a long-term relationship in a while. I briefly explained some of that in my last post. You like being able to come home after a long day of work and just do nothing. You like not being bothered with people sometimes. You like not having to check in with someone and consider somebody else’s feelings.¬†Oh, don’t I get it! I’m right there with you. But, we shouldn’t let that stand in the way of getting to know someone.

Another thing, it’s not even really that we don’t have the time, it’s that we’re lazy. We don’t want to make the time. I’ll speak for myself right now. At first (and kinda right now actually) I didn’t want to work hard. No other excuse other than I just really didn’t feel like it. It takes so much effort! You have to learn what they hate. Study what they like. Find out what their bad habits are and decide if you’re willing to get over them. “What’s your favorite color?” “You like your eggs scrambled or sunny-side up?” “How was your last relationship?” Blah, blah, blah. And not only do you have to learn about that person, you also have to learn a whole new family! Now, that can be even more exhausting than learning about bae. It’s really hard work, and sometimes I just feel like I don’t feel like going through the trouble.

Fear, contentment, laziness. All of that could block you from your blessings. God is waiting to bless us with our husband or wife, but because we’re afraid, or we like being alone or we just don’t feel like putting in the work, we’re going to miss the bae bus. Don’t be afraid to experience that “new feel.” Yes, dating is tiring sometimes, but the feeling you get when you’re in something new and fresh is awesome. Getting butterflies in your stomach when bae comes around. Or talking for hours about nothing. Randomly smiling at work because you thought of something cute he or she said to you. The fresh moments of dating are priceless. The first hug, the first kiss, the first smash. Those are all moments that should be worth ridding yourself of the fear, contentment and laziness. Dive into the pool of newness and bask in the ambiance of that new feel. It’s a high. Don’t let that high go to waste.

Thanks for reading!

Share Your Energy

The great thing about getting older is being able to grow and learn from previous experiences. I started truly dating when I was about 15. That’s 10 long years haha. Within that time, I’ve learned a few things. One and probably one of the most important, learning to share my energy. I had to learn that dishing out 100 percent of my energy is not the same as giving 100 percent to the relationship.

My longest relationship was about 5 years. The longest 5 years of my life, but it was a good ride. I learned so much about “love” and myself. It was exhausting at times. But what was even more tiring was the thought of having to do it all over again one day, and with someone new. Since that relationship ended years ago, I have not been in a long term relationship or what I call “a relationship that I actually took seriously.” It’s not that I haven’t had the chance. It’s not that I haven’t met great guys who wanted to be with me. Looking back, I’ve probably swerved someone who could’ve possibly been my future husband. But it’s because during that 5-year relationship, I focused a lot on him. I was wrapped too much in him. A lot of my energy went towards him. I mean, he was my first love, so naturally, he was a big part of my life. So, when that ended, I felt like I had no energy left. I took the breakup hard. I felt like I had nothing left to give myself, let alone anyone else. That’s a very dangerous space to be in. It’s hard to believe sometimes. I can’t believe I gave someone THAT MUCH of my energy. That’s just like being stranded on an island with one other person and you both are starving. You both find a big, juicy steak, but instead of you eating half and the other person eating half, you give it all to that person. What sense does that make to die of starvation? That’s kind of what giving away all of your energy feels like.

Anyway, after some time after that relationship, I began to feel rejuvenated again. I began to feel energized. But for a change, that energy was for me. I focused on myself. I wanted to enjoy myself. So I did that. I wanted to focus on getting my degree. So I did that. Then I wanted to land a job in my field. So, I did that. My energy was finally just for me. While doing all of these things, I was entertaining men, having fun, but I wasn’t willing to give them the energy that I had reserved for myself. So, needless to say, those relationships went nowhere fast. And deep down, that’s what I wanted.

So, now that I’m enjoying my life, I have my degree, I now have my second job in my field, a thought crossed my mind. “Am I ready to share my energy?” I think a lot of people become content with being with themselves. I think that’s the issue some of my friends have. I mean, it makes sense. You don’t want your time wasted. You don’t want your energy wasted.

If I’ve learned nothing else from my past relationship, it’s that I don’t have to give bae all of my energy. Again, giving 100 percent to the relationship is NOT the same as giving away all of your energy. Share it. I can still support you. I can still cook for you. I can still give you all the affection that you allow me to. I can still be a great significant other and give 100 percent, without completely draining myself ,physically, emotionally and spiritually. Find that balance. You can’t love a person more than you love yourself. After God, you come next. If you’re not 100 percent, you’re not worth much to bae. Don’t be afraid to share your energy. If you learn how to do that, you’ll never be completely without IF things go wrong. You’ll still have strength to pick yourself up after it’s all over.

So, I now understand what it means to be there for myself during a relationship. I’m ready to share my energy with someone. I now know that being a good girlfriend and future wife doesn’t mean that I have to deprive myself. We can both share our energy with each other.

Thanks for reading!