Do’s and Don’ts of 2018: Advice to Help You Live a Glowy Life

2018

2018 is creeping up.  We are approaching a new year. Another year to get it right! Another year to reach that goal, another year to take what’s yours. Sis, do not let this be the year that you do everything you swore you wouldn’t. Don’t collect the same L’s you collected in 2017. There may be some of you who are stuck in a position where you don’t know what’s next.  Or maybe you do know what you need to do, but just don’t know how to start. This should be a time you’re doing some reflection. Figure out now who and what you are willing to put up with. You don’t have to wait until January 1, 2018. You can actually ‘new phone, who dis’ that dead energy now.

If you want to glow up the way our ancestors intended you to, you have to step out of your comfort zone and do things that scare even you. Here are some do’s and don’ts that may help kick off your year in the right direction. I really want 2018 to be your year and not just what you say in a Facebook post.

DO BE BOSSY, UNAPOLOGETICALLY
It’s time to take over the world. You can no longer dim your light to please other people. When I say be bossy, I mean really tap into your inner beast. Step out of what makes you comfortable and take risks that could better your life. That’s what successful people do. Stop letting family, friends, lovers or jobs make you feel like you’re inadequate. Don’t be afraid to eliminate anyone or anything stopping you from reaching your full potential. And guess what? You don’t have to explain to anyone why you are choosing to make these decisions. Being a boss requires you to make moves. Start making the best moves possible for your life, with no apologies.

 

DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Take care of your mind, body and spirit. This is mandatory. Make your wellness your number one priority. Be conscious of what you’re putting into your body. Make time to workout and keep yourself healthy and in shape. Protect your energy by any means necessary. This means cutting off people who bring you down. Only allow positive people into your circle. Part of taking care of yourself is feeding your spirit. Build your relationship with God. Align your activities with your spiritual goals. Once you aggressively start taking care of all of you, you’ll feel better than you ever have.

DON’T GET SWEPT UP IN A SITUATIONSHIP

If I could scream this from the mountaintop, I would. I get it. Dating these days are harder than it should ever be. We live in a generation where love seems to be taboo. The concept of committing to and loving just one person seems to be a hard one for people to grasp nowadays. Although that’s true, don’t let it be the reason you waste time wondering where you stand in someone’s life. Don’t be afraid to demand clarity every step of the way. Stop giving special benefits to people you do not see a future with. And sis, bomb D doesn’t excuse trash behavior. First of all, it’s probably mediocre anyway, you’re just lost in the thrill of it all. This year, let’s please stop acting as if his skills in bed are hall passes to treat you any less than what you deserve. A good time should never  come with disrespect. If sex is all you’re genuinely looking for, though, make sure you are clear and your feelings are sorted accordingly. Gray areas are never healthy.

 

DO NOT ALLOW MEN TO PROJECT THEIR ANGER, HURT AND OTHER ISSUES ONTO YOU

Ladies, sometimes, we can be so much of a nurturer to others that we forget to nurture ourselves. We stay in toxic relationships for the sake of trying to help him. We give the benefit of the doubt every time he says something hurtful or disrespects you.  It’s not your job to fix everybody, nor should you have to be on the receiving end of abuse because of his pain. Give him the number to a top therapist and keep it moving. Actually, there are even apps for that now. There are a bunch of men who have serious mental illnesses and a lot who don’t address it. They have hurt from their childhood that’s gone their entire lives unchecked. It explains it, but certainly doesn’t excuse it. Get out, girl. No need to ruin who you are because of his process. Pray for them, wish them well and live a life of toxic-free relationships.

DO HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE, SELF-REFLECT OFTEN
Know when it’s time to put yourself in timeout. Be able to look at situations and figure out how you contributed to the downfall. Did you stay after finding out he cheated? Did you ignore certain signs? Find the lesson. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and check yourself. It’s necessary.
DON’T RUN FROM THE TRUTH BY CUTTING OUT YOUR FRIENDS
Sometimes our hearts want what our friends and family don’t want for us. It’s only natural for our loved ones to want to protect us. Don’t shy away from your girls because you want to continue to date an FBOY that they disapprove of. Sometimes it takes a friend to read you from the table of contents to the glossary for you to understand your self-worth. If you aren’t being open and honest with them, you have no one checking you and holding you accountable. Friends and family will always tell you what you need to hear. Being open can save lots of time and pain.
DO REMEMBER THAT SHE IS NOT YOUR COMPETITION
Ladies, we are stronger together than we’ll ever be separately.  Don’t have a hand in holding another woman back because you fear she’s your competition. Stop letting society and these men rip us apart. There is enough room for us all at the top. There are ways to help her succeed and get this, it won’t even interfere with your progress of succeeding. I promise it won’t. Also, please do not ever feel the need to compete with each other over these dingy boys. He is not a prize nor is he the one if you feel like you’re in some sort of contest with the next woman.
DO PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS
How many times did you ask God for signs in 2017? How many times did God then show you exactly who you were dealing with? Ok, did you actually take heed or did you waste your time along with God’s time? Nothing happens without warning. There will always be an indication that something isn’t right with a situation. This is the year that you go with your gut. It’ll keep you from learning some hard lessons.
You still have time to make the best of the rest of your life. Learn from the mistakes of this year and use it as fuel to get yourself pumped for the year to come. You have to start thinking in the way you wish to move. You deserve everything that you prayed for. It’s coming!

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