2018 is creeping up. We are approaching a new year. Another year to get it right! Another year to reach that goal, another year to take what’s yours. Sis, do not let this be the year that you do everything you swore you wouldn’t. Don’t collect the same L’s you collected in 2017. There may be some of you who are stuck in a position where you don’t know what’s next. Or maybe you do know what you need to do, but just don’t know how to start. This should be a time you’re doing some reflection. Figure out now who and what you are willing to put up with. You don’t have to wait until January 1, 2018. You can actually ‘new phone, who dis’ that dead energy now.
If you want to glow up the way our ancestors intended you to, you have to step out of your comfort zone and do things that scare even you. Here are some do’s and don’ts that may help kick off your year in the right direction. I really want 2018 to be your year and not just what you say in a Facebook post.
DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Take care of your mind, body and spirit. This is mandatory. Make your wellness your number one priority. Be conscious of what you’re putting into your body. Make time to workout and keep yourself healthy and in shape. Protect your energy by any means necessary. This means cutting off people who bring you down. Only allow positive people into your circle. Part of taking care of yourself is feeding your spirit. Build your relationship with God. Align your activities with your spiritual goals. Once you aggressively start taking care of all of you, you’ll feel better than you ever have.
DON’T GET SWEPT UP IN A SITUATIONSHIP
If I could scream this from the mountaintop, I would. I get it. Dating these days are harder than it should ever be. We live in a generation where love seems to be taboo. The concept of committing to and loving just one person seems to be a hard one for people to grasp nowadays. Although that’s true, don’t let it be the reason you waste time wondering where you stand in someone’s life. Don’t be afraid to demand clarity every step of the way. Stop giving special benefits to people you do not see a future with. And sis, bomb D doesn’t excuse trash behavior. First of all, it’s probably mediocre anyway, you’re just lost in the thrill of it all. This year, let’s please stop acting as if his skills in bed are hall passes to treat you any less than what you deserve. A good time should never come with disrespect. If sex is all you’re genuinely looking for, though, make sure you are clear and your feelings are sorted accordingly. Gray areas are never healthy.
DO NOT ALLOW MEN TO PROJECT THEIR ANGER, HURT AND OTHER ISSUES ONTO YOU
Ladies, sometimes, we can be so much of a nurturer to others that we forget to nurture ourselves. We stay in toxic relationships for the sake of trying to help him. We give the benefit of the doubt every time he says something hurtful or disrespects you. It’s not your job to fix everybody, nor should you have to be on the receiving end of abuse because of his pain. Give him the number to a top therapist and keep it moving. Actually, there are even apps for that now. There are a bunch of men who have serious mental illnesses and a lot who don’t address it. They have hurt from their childhood that’s gone their entire lives unchecked. It explains it, but certainly doesn’t excuse it. Get out, girl. No need to ruin who you are because of his process. Pray for them, wish them well and live a life of toxic-free relationships.